Your browser version is outdated. We recommend that you update your browser to the latest version.

DONATIONS

If you wish to make a donation via Virgin Money Giving - where we can receive Gift Aid please use the link below. Thank you so much.

 

Tigerlily Trust 

Virgin Money Giving

Homepage

 

 

Or to donate via PayPal please use the button below. Thank you so much.

 

Thank you

  

International Bereaved Mother's Day

The traditional Mother's Day has become an emotionally difficult day for so many of us who have lost our babies, and is an over commercialized distortion of the original, and bereaved mothers are completely forgotten.

 In the early 1900s in America, Anna Jarvis officially founded the traditional Mother's Day to honour her own Mother Ann who lost 7 of her babies! It was created in honour of a bereaved mother! It is now celebrated on the 2nd Sunday in May in many countries around the world. Here in the UK we celebrate Mothering Sunday on the 4th Sunday of Lent. It grew out of the 16th century practice of annually visiting one's mother church, and being reuinted with one's children on this day. 

International Bereaved Mother's Day was created to remind people of the true meaning of Mother's Day. It is a temporary movement designed to take our day back to its roots, to heal it for us all, with the hope that we will once again be recognised, included and remembered and there will be no need for this separate day at all. 

We use this day to speak up about the true meaning of Mother's Day, to celebrate our connection, our babies and children, to reclaim our right to be part of Mother's Day.

If you chose to celebrate with us, you may like to gather with close family and friends who understand, who will celebrate you and your babies and children. Have a special day filled with love, light candles, buy fresh flowers, look at your ultrasound pictures, visit your special place, celebrate your motherhood and all that surrounds it. Celebrate your strength, your beauty, your grace and share it with the world.

x Together we can heal x

 

Anna Jarvis

 







My First Mother's Day

As Mother's Day approaches I wanted to share a little of my journey towards making peace with what has become an emotionally difficult day for so many Mothers.

The first Mother's Day that came just under 5 months after Lily arrived stillborn into my arms was filled with conflict, fear, deep sorrow, and many questions. Do I qualify to be included on Mother's Day? Do I deserve recognition? How do I come to terms with valueing myself as a Mother even though my Baby is in Heaven? 

I was afraid of going out and seeing other Mothers being celebrated. I didn't know how I would get through the day, I felt shattered into a thousand tiny fragments.

I learned my first important lesson in how to deal with all of this..
SHARE how I'm feeling, tell someone who understands, tell them exactly how messed up I felt - get my feelings validated by someone who loves and cares. Give myself permission to be completely honest, knowing my vulnerability would be respected and my words kept confidential.

Then I wrote a card to Myself as if I was my best friend, telling her all the things she needed to hear to comfort and honour her.

Then I wrote one to my beautiful Lily, telling her how much I loved her and missed her, I poured my heart out, and when I felt done I placed the cards on my windowsill and lit a candle for us both.

I should also tell you that I left the country!!! Running away - yes, but most importantly running to something, my own way to make peace. I was in a country not celebrating Mother's Day, so I could quietly move through the day at my own pace, and I in fact had a very beautiful peaceful day.

Looking back I see that the anticipation of the day was far worse than the day itself. However in that anticipation and dread I faced my fears, I found a way that worked for me to honour and celebrate my connection to my Baby and my right as a Mother to be recognised.

I believe a Mother is a Mother defined by the children she holds in her heart, not just in her arms. We deserve to be celebrated - not left out! We can reclaim our place on Mother's Day, we can heal.

This year I shall spend time celebrating with my own Mother, we will do something simple and gentle, I will have the morning to honour my relationship with my Angel, and an afternoon of connecting with my loved ones here on Earth.

What ever you choose to do tomorrow may you feel loved and honoured. I will be lighting a candle for us all. 

Please feel welcome to share your experiences of Mother's Day, or how you are celebrating this year, it would be lovely to hear from you.....

Wishing you all a peaceful Mother's Day

Love and Light

Val and Lily xxxx