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Preparing For Your Baby To Be Born

If you are reading this because you have been given the news that your baby is seriously ill or has passed away, please accept our deepest sympathy, and we send you all our love and our thoughts are with you at this time.

We have gathered together information that you might find helpful during this difficult time. It has come from bereaved parents all over the world, and from my own experience of my daughter's stillbirth in 2011. Some of it comes from regret, of things we didn't do, but much of it comes from the experience of knowing what helped us through this painful time, and the desire to share our experience in the hope that it will benefit others.

Please remember that these are only suggestions, it is completely up to you how you would like to prepare for your precious baby's birth, each of us is unique, and we will find our own way to peace through this journey.

Ask a family member or close friend to notify anyone that you wish to know about your news. Make sure they understand your wishes, whether you want to recieve visitors, or phone calls at this time. It is exhausting enough facing your news, let others help you where they can.


Questions for your doctor/midwife/obstetrician

♥ Speak to your doctor/midwife/obstetrician about what is going to happen over this time.

♥ Ask them any questions that you have and let them know your wishes and concerns.

♥ You can still create a birth plan, talk over your wishes with your midwife.

♥ Ask them how big your baby will be and what he/she will look like.

♥ Will the hospital provide a blanket and clothes for your baby?

♥ Are there any momemtos the hospital can offer you, like the remembrance box we provide for parents in our Morecambe Bay NHS Trust hospitals?

♥ Ask if they have any recommendations for funeral or memorial services.

♥ Are there counsellor, Hospital Chaplain and or support worker services available to you?

♥ Can it be arranged for you to take your baby home for a short while should you wish it? Here is a link to a very helpful American site that covers everything you need to consider.

♥ Does the hospital have a cold cot so that you can keep your baby with you for as long as you need?


Things for the days before your baby's birth

♥ Take some beautiful pregnancy photos, record this precious time with your baby still safe inside. Go outside, go to a favourite place, take photos with your family and close friends. Do whatever feels right for you, don't limit yourself.

♥ Meet with loved ones who have been with you throughout your pregnancy, give them the opportunity to spend some time with you and your baby.

♥ Choose a name for your baby.

♥ Write a letter to your baby to give to them, tell them everything you want them to know.

♥ Go for a walk with your baby, talk to them, tell them all the things you want to say.

♥ Have a nurturing bath, light candles, spend some time just being with your baby.

♥ Buy a special blanket or outfit for your baby, the hospital may provide these for you, or you may want to take your own.

♥ Organize a camera and memory card to take to hospital, sometimes the hospital will provide this for you. Don't forget the battery charger if you take your own.

♥ Look into arranging Professional Remembrance Photography for this priceless gift given free of charge. It is my biggest regret that I didn't do this, and is why we are offering this service to bereaved parents in our Morecambe Bay NHS Trust area.

♥ If you are outside this area you can contact Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

♥ In Australia and parts of the UK contact Heartfelt

Think about organizing a video camera to take to hospital, we took lots of video footage of us before, during and after Lily was born and it is so precious to me now.

Think about music to take into hospital, you may have something special you want to play while you're having your baby, or to play to your baby afterwards while they are with you.










October 15th International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day + Global Wave of Light
We are very grateful to Scott and Claire for their generous hospitality in hosting us for our annual Remembrance Celebration. We invite you to join us for a very special evening remembering and celebrating all our babies and children gone to soon.
On this special date, we will light candles and be part of the global wave of light around the world. It will be an evening of remembering and honouring our babies, sharing and connecting with those who have travelled this path and those who help us to travel it. 
If you would like to come along, please join our event on Facebook - to help us prepare for accommodating you.

Doors open 6pm please come early to allow time for candle lighting and putting an angel on our remembrance tree in memory of your baby or child. 
There will be tea and coffee afterwards and time to talk and connect with each other.
We hope to see you there, message or email Val with any questions you may have, I will do my best to answer -

We understand that some of you may wish to join us for the Remembrance Celebration but be unable to attend - with this in mind we would like to offer you a way to include your precious babies too. If you send us their name in an email we will honour them by lighting a candle for them and speaking their name with all our babies during the ceremony.
United we honour our precious ones, together we help each other to heal.
Love and blessings, Val x x x